Distractions

Distractions are always felt to be negative. However, I have be given a God given distraction. I have embraced this as positive. One month ago, I signed a contract with Lynne to have the Estate Sale this weekend, only to learn in a few days that our close friends were visiting from Arkansas.

Thomas immediately wanted to change the date of the sale, but I said NO. Our friends would understand. We would be out and about with them and away from the house. A God given distraction. I embraced it and I now know it is just what I needed.

I am now looking around. Our distraction has arrived. Everyone has gone to bed and it is just me. I walk through the estate sale looking at everything. I want to make sure that there is nothing I want to keep. I find 3 things, that's all.

As I put them aside, I am surrounded by Neena and Meemaw. I can feel them everywhere. But it is peaceful. They are telling me it is Ok. Enjoy your distraction and let go. As I sit here all alone with them, I smile and feel so comforted.

Tomorrow morning I will wake to my distraction. I can walk, no run away, and toward our new memories. I can't wait for the next phase that God has in store for us.

This distraction does not have any feeling of negative. My close friends are with us, helping us to let go. As we make the next step in our lives, we are focused. We continue to dream.

I will wake up to helping Thomas cook breakfast, hugging on our friends and their children. Letting go with the best distraction ever.

This Ain't Nothin

Going through this estate sale has been so emotional. I'm reminded of Craig Morgan's song "This Ain't Nothing". He tells a story about a man whose house is destroyed by a tornado. It really puts into perspective things, stuff, etc and memories. I keep playing it in my head.

What would my feelings be if a tornado came and destroyed our parents stuff? We have memories that are priceless, that no tornado or estate sale can take away,

Now I have a renewed prospective. This will get me through watching people rummaging. They are only a tornado.

Freeze Frame

How many times in our lives do we just freeze frame. I was working on my master bedroom and this happened.

I knew I had some things in the garage that belonged to Thomas' and my Mom that I wanted to  incorporate. But where to find them?

I have a three car garage that is filled with their memories. It took me this long to deal with their deaths and all their memories that I inherited.

Initially, I wanted to build a shrine to honor our parents. So I could not rid myself of their stuff (memories). So fast forward 3 years:

I now have all their memories. It took me this long to grieve and to realize that what was precious to them was not precious to me. I know they were minimalists and would not want me to have this burden.

Yes, it is a burden to have these memories inherited to Thomas and me. Where do we start, what do we do?

When I started on my bedroom, I started digging. Then I realized it is bigger than me. I started with ebay, and I couldn't get any response to what I asked (remember that this is memories that have emotions attached and not just stuff).

So I freeze framed.

I searched and found someone who does estate sales. Lynne Brown. She has come in with everything in boxes, not knowing what is in there (nor did we). She has been so respectful. Yet everyday we come in with our nightly to do list. It has been tiring.

The sale is this coming weekend. I have worked so hard.

The girls came over and spent 2 weekends going through the attic and their rooms. I have loved seeing them find things that were lost. Heart broken at the things that they chose to trash. This is their stuff not mine. That was huge for me. To let go of trophys, medals, pictures. I thought I would go back and pull these things out of the trash and WHAT? Put it in a box for them to throw out when I'm gone. Letting go. Its hard.

So I freeze framed my  redecorating to deal with these memories.

I will post pictures in the future.

Its OK to freeze frame.